..Ahh, who DOESN'T know or remember that semial 80s' classic from now-retro soul-sister RnB act Salt 'N Pepa? I know I sure do, and can certainly see the values in the song even having not heard it in years, or,...not having listened to most of their other stuff actually. Call me a very casual SnP fan if you'd like, atleast when it comes to anything other than having that good shit on my food. But I disgress. Just why the FUCK am I wanting to talk about sex all of the sudden? What makes it that fucking interesting? Well, other than it *supposedly* being the best feeling in the world (in case you didn't catch the hint, yes, I'm still practically a virgin. But what I do in the privacy of the bathroom and shit is solely my own business hehe), it's also the one thing that naturally brings about the most beautiful joy in the world, the feeling of contributing another living, breathing heaping of organized flesh to populate society and inadversedly hopefully make it better. Oh yeah; and the fact that it's just so easy to pull some the most downright vulgarly humorous material on this planet from the very topic, atleast, that's the impression I get from watching Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Please class, take out your pencils, and prepare for a bit of crudely comedic sex education, featuring special guests Tommy "Vibrato" Blowgun (argh, just a terrible tag joke there. Laugh and you get shot).
Just in case you've been stuck under a burning car for the past couple of months and don't quite know anything (and that IS pretty hard to imagine really; I'm sure even 80-year old fart nuns have heard words on this flick, albiet their stances are as harsh and nonbending as ever) about Zack and Miri, allow me to A: reintroduce you to the world at large and, B: catch you up with a basic sypnosis. In the plainest of words, Zack and Miri focuses around, well, Zack and Miri (albiet more on the former than the latter, 'least that's what I got from it), played by the seminal Seth Rogen (cheers to being Superbad Sethy boy!) and the brilliant Elizabeth Banks (who I actually first saw on Scrubs as JD's "eh" girlfriend, and by "eh" I mean "Damn she can be a total bitch at times playing a bro like that" sort of deal), who stay in a small town in Pittsburg more or less struggling to make ends meet. For all intents and purposes, Zack's job at the Bean Shop (a local coffee upswing place, akin to Starbucks but much less chic) as a run-of-the-mill employee working for an Indian (that's India as in the COUNTRY next to Africa folks. It's the 21st century; get c'hur labels straight, sheesh hehe) man who not only runs the shop but also cracks wise...cracks on him and fellow employee and best friend Delaney (played by Craig Robison, who did an awesome job I must say) is definitely not cutting the mustard when it comes to payin' them bills. The situation's only worsened as the landlord threatens to cut off him and Miri's services (so that answers that question: yes, they live together. Lucky fuckin' Zack), and to add even more on top just for shits and giggles, their high school reunion is right around the corner. As the dynamic duo take to attending, it's here in which the wheels for the rest of their adventure and layed in place and spun to a ferocious howl.
Make no mistake, this is no ordinary high school reunion (and honestly I can only hope mines is half as kick ass as the one in this film, that is, if I even go to it). Oh sure it starts off that way, but with Zack getting handjobs from a married woman in a bitter game of secret oneupmanship with her hubby and Miri hitting on long-time high school crush Bobby Long (the subdued but still neat Brandon Routh), things are bound to get heated, and that they do when Zack meets a rather..."interesting" actor by the name of Brandon (Justin Long FTW!). What makes Brandon so "interesting", you ask? Well besides the fact he's a gay porn star, it also has something to do with the fact that he and Bobby are...well....kinda dating. Okay, that's an understatement. More like blowing each other's cocks 'till kingdom come and their faces are whiter than Japanese geishas. So leave it to Zack to get the entire quatret of himself, Brandon, Bobby and Miri together so they can exchange some words, and man what some interesting words they had to say. Miri's almost fanatical crush and ambitions of bedtime relations with Bobby pretty much shattered, the conver. degrades into a semi-public farce between the homonogeous lovers, but not before Brandon takes note of Miri's proported "celebrity", a.k.a the "Granny Pannies", of which she can personally give thanks to two assdouchetastic teenage youths back in the coffee shop hours prior. Anyways, as the situation boils down and the reunion comes to a close, Zack and Miri arrive back home only to notice the landlord's become more of a dick than before, and now they face the very REAL prospect of being just like those homeless bums I'm sure Zack's messed around and joked on from time to time (needless to say those very ones in particular would be in no hurry to accept him and even Miri into their lovenly-crafted-from-grad-A cardboard box home, though Miri's got the looks workin' for her), the two head to a bar and basically run down a few disjolted game plans b/f-by all miracles-coming on one that seems like it'll work. I'm of course referring to the aspect in the very film's title, the aspect of pornography production, and as Delaney, Lester (the slammin' Jason Mewes, smokin' hot Stacy (adult film star Katie Morgan), "Bubbles" (yet ANOTHER adult film star, this one Traci Lords), Barry (Ricki Mabe), and last but not least Deacon (Clerks man Jeff Anderson) are pulled on board, filming is set underway. Of course, when there's actual real-life (per the movie's story) romance building between two members of the film in question, some of the harsher aspects of porn making (which I know jack shit about other than the fucking, and that's an iffy) begin rearing their ugly head, and threaten to cause a lot more strife than any accidental vinarial infection could dream of.
Suffice it so say, I hate it when people post summaries of films and call them "reviews", so that's as much of a summary as you're gonna get from me. I will, however, take this time to share my thoughts with the film, and try to keep shit as organized as possible. On those grounds, first of all I gotta give Kevin Smith, the film's director, major props for taking a risk like this. Knowing how Hollywood can be, a story even half as daring as Zack and Miri would've been tossed to the slaughterhouse by top execs, so it surprises somewhat that Kevin was able to get this one filmed, much less picked up and actually shipped out. My heart goes out to the guy for whatever heartache he must've endured during the film's production. Another thing I enjoyed a lot was the fact that this film actually turned out to be-at it's heart- a romantic comedy,...and it impressed the shit outta me. Now, that' s not me saying I absolutely loathe romcoms as if they shouldn't exist, but I'm certainly not their biggest fan. Not by a long fucking shot. You often know how they're gonna end up right from the opening credits, and most all of them share so many cliches as if they HAVE to be in the damn movie for it to be a romcom. But, yeah, that's an argument for a whole OTHER time. And speaking of which, it's also not me saying that a romcom has to have a shitload of swearing and sex jokes and good-looking girls ('specially that one in the strip club scene giving the guy his lap dance and saying "I don't do ass stuff",...damn I wished I were him at that very moment) and neato titties-and-ass shots to get my interest, though admittably that stuff helps out a lot. I just want them (and anything I watch, read, listen, or play in general) to be, 'ya know, INTERESTING, and most romcoms don't catch my interest like that. Sure, some might call Zack and Miri a gutteromcom, but I like it for what it is regardless. And call it juvenille if you must, though honestly I think you'd be juvenille for saying that, but that's something for later into the review. Now on to the performances.
Well, on the acting part, I can say that this is the second comedy this year in which I've seen not one bad performance, and the leads-despite NOT actually having all the best scenes and lines (that's a good thing mind you)-are a big part of that. Seth Rogen, for example; I never really considered the dude a great actor until this film. Mind you, I only previously saw him in Superbad (which he also had a hand in making, and that I shall review later on down the road), but what I gathered there was that he we more or less doing that part b/c he could. It was a good role as the cop in that film, but when watching it I wasn't thinking "damn this dude is REALLY great"; he just fit the role real well for me, and it's not like that was a central role to even begin with so there wasn't much pressure. Yet here he is as arguably the leading role in a pretty big comedy piece that he (to my knowledge though I'm sure he chucked a few words to Kevin every now and then here and there) did not have an active role in making, so I wasn't sure what to expect, neverminding the fact that great directors (like Seth) usually tend to be shit actors. But guess what? He was absolutely fantastic in this flick, and his performance really helped me enjoy the movie that much more. Even better, as I've seen the film a second time already, the performance is even better the 2nd time around, something that dudn't really happen that often. Yet as great and hilarious as he was, it's the rest of the cast that helps keep the movie going, and one in particular, the other main lead, that really sells it for me.
I'm of course speaking of none other than Elizabeth Banks, who, like Seth, I always thought of as a good actor (well technically actress in her case) but not actually sorta "wowing" me with her work. Like him, I'd only seen her in one other work prior to this, and that'd be as a here-and-there supporting character on seminial favorite of mine Scrubs, as JD's girlfriend in the later seasons who eventually bears him a child. She was pretty good as that role and some episodes (like the one where she's actually giving birth) hinted at her potential and even some of the stuff she'd be doing here w/o me even realizing it then, but she never floored me as that role. But I think now it was never meant to be that way, and having seen her here, I can say it's the role itself that held her back on that show (not saying she was bad in any way, but you get what I mean. I never saw her as leading lady material). Having seen her here, I can honestly say that she has a VERY bright career ahead of her, and the sexiness is only icing on the cake. Sure, she isn't outright-hilarious as Seth was, but that's the point: she's his balance in this flick, and every now and then (like when talkin' about who gets to fuck who), they seem much more in common than you'd think. A fantastic performance from her, though I do wish the movie actually mentioned a bit more about her background, like where she worked. You never learn of where she worked. BUT if I had to take a guess, I'd say it was at a luxury shopping/fragrance store in the town mall or some shit like that. She'd seem like the type.
Pretty much everyone else is fantastic in this piece as well, such as Zack and Delaney's boss Mr. Surya (played by Gerry Bednob), a rather twisted middling-to-old age kook who isn't afraid of throwing some racial fun around as his employees and blasting off from the mouth at them. Speaking of Delaney, Craig was awesome in this piece, though admittably I wasn't that strong feeling about his performance in my first viewing. You can see him and Zack getting along quite well, and the movie even does a great job of fleshing him out, especially towards the end as he and Zack share some kind words of a nigh epithany-like level, barring his wife (played by Tisha Campbell-Martin) meddling in on things. Another strong performance is from Bobby Long as gay porn star Brandon; he just totally plays up the part and you can tell he had fun doing it (and I'm sure his character namesake had fun "doing it" as well). I honestly think there could be a spin-off or even sequel where Bobby's character is more of a focal point; he's that awesome here. Kevin even took the time to get some real porn stars in on the action to lend an air of credibility to the film, in the vain of Traci Lords and Katie Morgan, who did their parts fabulously, 'specially Katie who, eh...well lemme just say has probably the most gross-out funny scene in the entire film in the second half. Won't spoil it for you, but eh I hear some people are actually into that shit (more power to 'em). Jason was also pretty good and more or less takes his Jay to another, more sophisticated yet ironically even more immature level (one step forward, one step back. A bigger split to let the dick hang). Like I said, I can't give a single fault to any one performance here. I can, however, share a small qualm over the ending.
Eh,...the ending's great, don't get me wrong. I can't really talk about what happens specifically since that'd be sharing a big spoiler, BUT if you think about the general ending in any romcom out there, maybe it's not that big of a spoiler after all. With the movie having been so genuinely different for everything up to that point (and a candid scene between Zack and Miri at one point that just sealed the deal with Banks being the one actress I'll be looking forward to in future films more than any other at this point personally), I was sorta hoping it'd take a different path to its ending and have an unexpected one altogether. I mean, it's not like I DON'T want those two lovebirds to enjoy what they eventually get, but something that was more like giving a big double crossed "fuck you!" to every other romcom's ending would've been quite more desired by myself personally. Funny enough the ending caught me moreso on this second viewing than the 1st, and I guess personally knowing the film better caused me to see it in a more critical fashion. Still, if any other ending would prevent Lester from just casually being the most sexually wierd fuck out there and having it committed to celluiod, then the version shot and edited in as is is purely okay by me.
So yeah, there you go. A general rundow for what I'm calling a tossup between this and Tropic Thunder (though I've yet to see Role Models or Pineapples Express JUST yet, so bear with me) for comedy of year, giving my own insights and thoughts and all that shit. IMHO, though this and TT are comedies, I feel they're different enough in not only theme (that one's pretty obvious) but also in the actual type (in a way) and delivery (definitely noticable) of their material that saying one's better than the other is just down to personal preference. And personally, I say I like Zack and Miri more at the moment (though rewatching TT might change that hehe). It's a completely unexpected romcom with some of the most raunchy and vulgur sexual humor out there, and DEFINITEY isn't for everyone, especially the easily offended, those who find tits and ass revolting to look at, or nuns. All that said, anyone willing to give it a chance and not having to fall into those aforementioned catagories are bound to get more than a few laughs outta this motherfucker, and even develop some fondness for the tale of love strewn in the center of this film's heart, as well as seeing some frankly underrepresented actors and actresses who I hope have some incredible pieces of work down the road. All in all: SEE THIS MOVIE!!! It's awesome. This is John here, wishing you all a great and blessed g'nite, and until next time, later out!!!
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